FAMILY
🌿 The Mirror Called Family: A Blessing, A Burden, A Beginning
There are two kinds of families people talk about—
One that builds you.
And one that breaks you.
But I’ve come to believe: most families… do both.
They build some parts of you while breaking others.
And somehow, both versions are true.
🧠 The Psychology Behind Family Bonds
From a psychological view, our family forms the blueprint of how we love, fear, trust, and even how we see ourselves.
Our attachment style—secure or insecure—often comes from the way our parents responded to our needs as a child.
Psychologist John Bowlby, who introduced Attachment Theory, explained this so well:
“The way we are loved becomes the way we expect to be loved.”
So if your family showed warmth, encouragement, and emotional safety—you’re likely to grow with confidence and empathy.
But if there was emotional neglect, criticism, comparison, or control, it can lead to low self-worth, anxiety, or people-pleasing.
🌸 My Story: Between Silence and Strength
I’ve lived both sides.
I grew up in a home where love was present—but not always in words.
Where support existed—but sometimes with conditions.
Where emotional conversations were rare—but sacrifices were routine.
There were days when I felt protected—and days when I felt invisible.
And sometimes… broken.
One such day is etched in my memory.
My parents were fighting—again.
This time, my brother stepped in, and I thought he’d calm things down. But instead, the argument became more violent.
For the first time in my life, I walked out of the house.
I went to my friend’s place—not to escape, but to breathe.
I thought maybe someone would ask me, “Are you okay?”
But when my mother reached there, instead of asking me how I felt, she started scolding me in front of my friend—and began explaining how my father behaves.
Like seriously? Why was she more worried about explaining him than understanding me?
She left. I returned home that night, quietly.
A part of me was still hoping my father would be worried… or at least feel guilty for how things unfolded.
But all he said was:
“Ghar se nikal gayi? Ladki jaat ho kar ke koi ghar se jata hai kya?”
That was the moment I broke.
I wasn’t angry.
I was just… disappointed.
I thought he would understand me. But he didn’t.
He didn’t even try.
That’s just one story. There are more.
Each moment left a mark.
Each silence made me question myself.
And slowly, self-doubt started to grow.
Was I wrong to feel hurt?
Was I too dramatic? Too sensitive?
Was it my fault?
🌗 The Dual Nature of Family
Let’s be honest.
Family can be the softest place to fall…
…and sometimes, the hardest cage to escape.
But here’s the truth I’ve embraced:
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Family teaches us what we want more of
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And sometimes, it shows us what we never want to repeat
Both are valuable.
Even the painful lessons give you direction.
💬 To Anyone Reading This...
If you feel torn between loving your family and healing from it—
You’re not ungrateful.
You’re growing.
If you’re trying to become what no one in your family ever was—
You’re not rebellious.
You’re brave.
And if you feel the weight of expectations, silence, or comparison—
Take a deep breath. You’re not alone.
You are allowed to break the patterns that broke you.
🕊️ Final Thought
Family is where our story begins—but not where it ends.
It’s okay to carry love and pain in the same heart.
What matters most is what you choose to become—despite it all.
— Poonam Kumari
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